For
the past few months I was – let’s be honest here – procrastinating. A lot. And
it is/was completely my fault. I barely managed to get myself to sit down and write something. Even blog posts were
scarce and I needed someone – fictional – to breathe down my neck to write any.
I was avoiding my computer, actually my new lap top like the plague.
You’re probably wondering how this happened?
At the end of the last year I had already written more than 30.000 words of my new novel. Somehow, I knew it was… crap. Too boring.
So, what did I do? I asked my good friend to ask some of her reading friends to read it. They didn’t know who I was, I didn’t – still don’t – know who they were in order to be completely honest in their feed-back.
Guess what? I was right. It was crap. I wondered how this could have happened.
I had such an amazing idea in my head. When it hit me, I got goose-bumps. I remember exactly how and when it hit me. I was in my car, driving home from work, listening to some music… I was so excited. But there was another story to be edited, polished and got ready for publication.
And before I managed to sit down and write the idea… it looks like it got watered-down.
You’re probably wondering how this happened?
At the end of the last year I had already written more than 30.000 words of my new novel. Somehow, I knew it was… crap. Too boring.
So, what did I do? I asked my good friend to ask some of her reading friends to read it. They didn’t know who I was, I didn’t – still don’t – know who they were in order to be completely honest in their feed-back.
Guess what? I was right. It was crap. I wondered how this could have happened.
I had such an amazing idea in my head. When it hit me, I got goose-bumps. I remember exactly how and when it hit me. I was in my car, driving home from work, listening to some music… I was so excited. But there was another story to be edited, polished and got ready for publication.
And before I managed to sit down and write the idea… it looks like it got watered-down.
Reading all the feed-backs, over and over again – although all professional and not putting me down as a writer – that nasty little “I’m not good enough” bug started to hunt me down.
At first it was a distinctive little voice, but as time passed by, it grew louder and louder and soon I wasn’t writing anything anymore and I used my laptop only for socializing.
Right at the same time my professional life became a mess. I had so much work at the office I stayed there longer and longer, trying to sort things out down, so I made that as my perfect excuse, why I am not writing. At all.
But now, I need to face myself in the mirror and tell myself I was procrastinating. A lot. The thing is, I work fine under pressure. If I’m given a deadline.
Perhaps writing as an Indie writer gives me too much freedom as to when I will write and how much and this kills my motivation. Perhaps having my day-job gives me too much safety… Perhaps my personal life is too busy to be able to…
But you know what? I know now that this are just excuses. And lame ones too.
A few days ago, I had to write a guest blog post for a friend and she gave me a deadline… I felt great after writing it down. I almost forgot that feeling…
So, this is how it is going to work. I will set myself goals, deadlines.
To get my writing spirit back, I’m going to focus to write (and bore you with) at least two blog posts per week and after that…
I just know my writing beast will get unleashed and… well… let us all be surprised.
